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Dead Man Talking, Part Two

February 21, 2013 - Author: Alva - Comments are closed

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Before I started writing Buzzard’s Myth and before my PD prognosis (late 70s), my first book outline was for who I thought I was and what I wanted to say.  Now at age 84, I want to share it with all of you, with due respect to other personal viewpoints and faiths.  These are merely my own.

Human Society consists of many diverse individuals, no two of whom are equal, despite the U.S. Constitution and religious moralities. Many individuals are survivors, able to surmount all odds. Many are soon overcome with the pressures of living and quickly disappear into the base of the pyramid of life. The majority pass their lives somewhere between these two extremes, depending on the culture of their social order for survival.

I have survived three score and eighteen years with most of my instincts and physical abilities still intact.

I try to live by the “Golden Rule.” First, do unto others as you would have them do unto you, but “an eye for an eye” is also part of my creed, in thought if not in deed. I have found that forgiveness is mostly a hypocritical act, with a perceived wrong permanently imprinted for a lifetime, even though its source may no longer exist.

Except for health and mental acuity, the assets I have accumulated during my three score and eighteen years have been successively divided three times following three marriages that were initially loving and compatible, but at the end, became dysfunctional, each division leaving me not destitute, but forced into temporary frugalities. Continuing inherent needs to hold someone who returns the need, thus eliminating whores and anonymous encounters, may question my mental acuity, and will undoubtedly lead to more divisions ere I pass into eternity, but really . . . what difference does it make?

I have been passionately happy, and deeply depressed!

I have been hungry, and I have been cold!

I have been wounded by gun, knife, and tooth, and I have bled!

I have been affluent, and I have been bankrupt!

I have been wise, and I have been foolish!

I have been in love, and I have been loved!

I have been faithful, and I have deceived!

I have been humble, and I have been vain!

I have enjoyed spirits, and I have achieved temperance!

I have friends, and I have enemies!

I have lusted after the flesh, and I have been lusted for!

I have been a professional-hunter-trapper-fisherman-harvester of many natural resources, and I have been wasteful of none!

I have faced many perils, and I have faced death, and I am still alive!

I have fertilized eggs that produce humankind!

I have been baptized into Christianity, and I rank modern sectarian beliefs equally with ancient mythology!  What noble ancient Greek, Egyptian, Roman, Norseman, Mayan, or Roanoke Island Indian could be residing in a modern purgatory or hell?

A single faith in any Deity, during any epoch, if true, cannot, by definition also be true in thousands of varying interpretations by thousands of evolving sects, whether in our universe or the next. It has been estimated that approximately 34,000 sects exist, with participants holding the certainty that their founder’s beliefs are the only sure way to continue as a presence from death forward.

It is imprudent to deny all human faiths, past, present, and future, or to profess sole faith in a contemporary God; therefore, in perfect fairness, all are acknowledged and none are denied.

I have attained a state of “GRACE” and peace in my own heart by pledging equal allegiance to all Deities that any intelligence has ever revered or feared, be it in our solar system or elsewhere in the universe. Hubris aside, I embrace all states of “GRACE” that will welcome me in holy cosmic polygamy, and await with mortal certainty a taste of “HERA’s” celestial milk.

The basis of faith is genetic, hardwired into the DNA of all humans, and is the strongest basic instinct in all species to survive and reproduce. The strongest basic instinct of each individual organism is self preservation, and self preservation is the fear of death, or the love of life. The intensity of each is an exact mirror of itself. When the earliest humans evolved an intellectual awareness of the love of life and the fear of death, that awareness was projected into the unknown future of the dead through imaginations of hope and fear. A natural sequence was the desire to continue life after a mortal existence, and various deities and scenarios came into existence in the minds of early man to make this wish a reality.

The survival instinct is as strong in me as any individual on earth, and after struggling for a lifetime trying to reconcile science with religion, I have accepted the above as a solution to satisfy my inherent need for immortality. It differs greatly from the majority of present mankind only in scope and interpretation.

I face odds that favor my entering countless heavens and a few hells from jealous gods as I wander through eternity!

I always plan for the best and always prepare for the worst!  Hope, wishes, and hind-sight are not options!

I do not believe that my fate has already been written!

I believe that nothing in life is preordained, excepting changes in the “STATUS QUO” as demanded by natural law!

I do not think nor run with the pack. I have joined the un-joined “LOBOS” of the world “outside the box.”

Like many free thinking intelligent creatures, I strive to comprehend the physical, age-old mysteries of cosmological origins. A major disappointment is that the natural laws, as we have discovered and defined them, have not developed the knowledge nor a secular technology that can solve the mystery of “something from nothing,” or creation of the first bit of matter.

The scientific and philosophical tools of society that are searching for multiple, unimaginable, outside-the-box truths are still in their infancy. Time without beginning preceded this universe, but we are trapped, with blinded perspective, inside-the-box of a contemporary universe. Can one imagine the billions of universes that must have preceded the one we inhabit?  Man can do this only with a truly free mind. Maybe, after many more millions of years of evolving intellect and technology, man, before his inevitable extinction, will be more enlightened. But at the present, I, and all that have gone on before me, and all those who question magical or supernatural explanations of how things came to be, will pass without enlightenment into eternity.

Between the immutable prehistory of 16 billion years and the randomized infinity of the future, an instant in time occurred in which an individual organism of the species Homosapien came into existence. He lived for an immeasurably short period, and exerted an immeasurably small influence on the Mother cosmos that made his existence possible.

For those who might care to read about this individual, either through enjoyment or curiosity, the following narration {*} chronicles his insignificance, and the efforts put forth to produce it are the result of the individual’s inherent desire to be significant.

{*} this narration is now Alva’s memoir, Buzzard’s Myth: Adventures of a Free Spirit from Egg to Eternity

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